Friday, May 23, 2008

Do not try this at home

Warning: the following post may put you off your food.

Every morning this week I have taken dried apricots out of the container and put them in H & K's lunch boxes. Some mornings I've eaten some too. This morning I put in three apricots, picked up the fourth "ready to eat" "moist & juicy" apricot and noticed it had a brown think on it. "Stalk," I thought. Then I looked closer... and closer... and said to D, remarkably calmly as I took the first three apricots, out of the school lunches "Can you come and look at this and see if you think it is what I think it is?"

There, nestled in the fourth apricot, was a moist and juicy rat poo. I used to have rats so I know a rat poo when I see one.

Fortunately I had a holiday job once as telephonist/receptionist for the Wellington Health Development Unit which at that time dealt with such complaints so I knew what to do. I put the apricot with poo in a clear plastic bag, found the packet the apricots came in and rang the Public Health Service. They came and collected the evidence this afternoon.

The apricots were imported ones packed in New Zealand. Is it strange to be hoping that it was a New Zealand rat poo? Somehow it seems slightly less disgusting than an overseas one importing who knows what foreign diseases.

I am thankful to my morbid sense of humour which is helping me enjoy the sheer awfulness of finding a ready to eat poo.


JK said...

Ugh! I am guessing you've eaten out of the bag, but I am relieved you didn't eat that particular apricot! Here's hoping for local rat poo.

JK said...

ah, yes, reading back, you have eaten out of the container. Good also that you had the knowledge of what to do with the apricot and the poo. I am sorry you had to use that knowledge!

Karen said...

I don't suppose it is worth pointing out that you probably regularly eat bits of rodent... when we do mass spec, the most common contaminants after human keratin are rat amd mouse keratin...

Karen said...

Talking of poos, did D tell you... last night J tracked it through the house then skated in it and smeared it on the bathroom walls and I think T ate some... all in the space of about 2 minutes. i was angry and ranted and made J stay in the bath while I cleaned up the worst of it and ranted... poor T screaming in his cot throughout... distressed by being abandoned and the ranting i think... then bathed them as best I could in the still pooey bath... yum!