To the H FamilySo, we checked out the cupboards and found three presents. When we unwrapped them there were lollies for H, lollies for K and a lovely beautiful bright green frisbee for me. Now the letter didn't explain who the presents were from but I have my suspicions, the writing and the absence of a fourth present all point to the incriminatingly smug D. I have to agree with him when he says "What a clever way to sneak in late Christmas presents."
A naughty christmas elf hid some of your presents in the laundry cupboard
Signed: A good christmas elf
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I'm intending to write an entry about schema in sports, maybe one on the concept of marital insurance, post some pictures H & K have taken on my phone and update you on my life in general.
Meanwhile I hope that you're having a happy Xmas and are planning a merry new year.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I may have a BMI close to 40, run like a penguin with a face a beetroot would be proud of but today I am a sports star. I am expecting to be asked for celebrity endorsements any moment.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Which leaves me wondering - what occurs in fiction close to the same amount that it occurs in real life?
Sunday, December 09, 2007
The metaphor that does work for me is one of dancing, city driving is like boogieing in a crowd. Both driving and dancing involve physical movement which has elements of both constraint and freedom, both are better when done smoothly and, in both, crashing into others is a bad thing. The main constraint in driving is the road, the main constraint in dancing is the music, both are easier if the constraints are familiar.
My niece, I, likes to drive back from gym a particular way because she likes the shape of it. The sweep of the curves her way is a graceful dance.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Two guys drinking beer.
Guy 1 : So, is your new girlfriend attractive?
Guy 2 : Well, she has a moustache
Guy 1 : So, is it a nice moustache?
Monday, November 26, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Of the 437 bees 8 were substantially larger. From reading about swarming bees in Wikipedia I think this was an afterswarm and the 8 larger bees were virgin queens. I am sad to have killed them, particularly as feral honey bees are having a hard time here with varroa mites. Last summer we coexisted very happily with a hive of bumble bees in the eaves but I am not prepared to share the laundry.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
- I have done a lot of research to make sure that this list reflects a well informed opinion.
- I am confident the arrest of 17 people on terrorism charges will discourage activists from carrying out violent acts.
- I am disappointed that the Solicitor General ruled against charging them under the terrorism act.
- The recorded conversations which mention assassination and acts of violence should be taken at face value. Activists don't say that kind of thing unless they mean to act on it. I never joke with my friends about anything I wouldn't actually do.
- The competence of the police in this case is unquestionable and I find it reassuring. The way the situation was handled has been positive for race relations.
- I believe that Maori activists pose a real threat to the safety of all New Zealanders.
- I can see how a sensible person would decide it was worthwhile to assassinate a New Zealand politician.
- I think that extremist groups are made up entirely of sensible people. I always support Tama Iti and understand his point of view.
- I think that the police are all sensible people. They certainly had a good reason to remove two avocados and return them later.
- I have no lingering sense of disquiet about what happened.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Yesterday I read the early strips for the first time. This was my favourite.
I hang out with people who quote the latest xkcd in conversation before I've read it. But, the other day I found out that JK, multiply manifest internet goddess, hadn't heard of xkcd and so I thought I'd better make sure that you, my gentle reader, had.
But I'm sick and I'm waiting for the other player(s) to move in all my games so I checked out "Join Table". I forgot the internet is for porn. I forgot Rule 34 of the internet: if you can imagine it there is porn of it.
So when I found:
Hara is requesting a Regular game using the English TWL dictionary.I ended up in a giggling, coughing, wheezing, gasping, snorting fit.
Note: **LADIES ONLY** HAVE A WEBCAM? LET ME SEE YOUR BODY while we play scrabble, I have pictures of my thick hard [...] to share. Send a message when you accept so I know you read this.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
- Decorate so people can tell you know it is Halloween. We stuck pictures of ghosts and jack o'lanterns which H & K coloured in in the front windows and tied some balloons outside.
- Be generous so kids will tell each other it is worth visiting. Three wrapped lollies each is considered generous around here.
- Look harmless. Two pre-schoolers jumping up and down on the garage roof in their pyjamas does the trick.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
One day I was on my own putting H & K to bed. They had just got settled and were sweetly snuggled down in their beds and I was just about to give them each a kiss, close the door and give a sigh of relief, when H leapt up and started wildly scratching her bottom. My heart sank. I thought I'd finished my motherly duties for the day and now there was a problem. I even knew the cause of the problem - overenthusiastic wiping. And as I pulled myself back into mummy mode I said:
"Do you have bottom angst?" I thought it was a rhetorical question. I thought it was a way to take it lightly, remind myself that some problems are unsolvable and lighten my mood.
"Yes." H replied with absolute conviction. "I have bottom ants."
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
10 reasons why I'm a happy Happy Creature
- I played.
- I caught the disc sometimes. Once, I believe, when the other team threw it which is extra good.
- I threw the disc and someone else caught it at least once.
- The person I was marking usually found it hard to make the throw they wanted.
- I felt like I was in a sensible place quite a lot of the time and usually, when I wasn't, I knew what a sensible place would be (but wasn't fast enough to get there).
- The other Happy Creatures were welcoming.
- eloieli was a beam of positive support on the side lines.
- I am the proud owner of a golden yellow t-shirt with a smiling Cthulu head/octopus on it.
- H & K were given golden yellow t-shirts with smiling Cthulu heads/octopi on them.
- Only my left shoulder is slightly sore today.
I've been to the doctor who annoys me twice (who I will call Dr WAM), the after-hours doctor once (A-H Dr) and finally today my favourite doctor (my Dr).
First Dr WAM told me that I had asthma with my cold and to take Ventolin. I had childhood asthma so this didn't come as too much of a surprise. Then when Ventolin stopped helping I went to the A-H Dr who told me I didn't have asthma anymore I had bronchitis (probably viral). Then when I still wasn't better two weeks later Dr WAM told me I had asthma, put me on a preventative (steroid) inhaler and basically told me I'd be taking it for the rest of my life. I found this depressing and frustrating. I have enough chronic health conditions already. I do not need another.
I finally got to see my Dr today. She has given me a referral for a chest x-ray to get done if my chest isn't feeling better in 2 weeks, given me a peak flow meter to use at home to monitor my lung capacity, changed the dose of the preventative and given me more information about it including a plan to come of it again. My Dr is lovely but she only works two days a week and not on school holidays.
I'm better than I was, which is better than I was before that, but I'm just not well DAMMIT.
Monday, October 08, 2007
At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never
Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair.
So she let the phone keep ringing and she sat there softly singing
Little nursery rhymes she'd memorised in her daddy's easy chair.
You, meanwhile, will be leaving a comment on this blog to wish me happy birthday. If you want a theme for your comment you can tell me something that you're glad you have done before the age of thirty-seven.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
I am homesick for my children. The last few days when T gives me smiley gurgles or, to J's delight, my well placed suggestions enable him to conquer the tall ladder at the playground, I ache for my children. J and T are lovely and loveable but they do not fill the gap in my heart.
This physical longing for children of my own is deeply familiar. It is the feeling I had when I was facing infertility and trying to conceive. Now the ache is for specific children, H and K, but it is the same sensation. My friend told me to go home if it is too hard. Too hard? I put up with two years of this not knowing if it would ever go away, how hard can it be for a few days that I can end whenever I choose?
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Facts behind the Helsinki Roccamatios is a selection of three short stories and a novella. They are emotive, interesting and interestingly told. I almost entirely recommend them.
There is one word that makes my recommendation hesitant. One word that sticks in my mind and caused me to rant at the book. In a story told in the first person Yann Martel writes:
"But Paul wasn't gay. He had never told me so outright, but I knew him well enough and I had never sensed the least ambivalence."Ambivalence! I felt outraged. Ambivalence implies that the person is unable to make a choice or is torn between two conflicting desires. What makes this fictional young man think that gay people are any more ambivalent than anyone else?
Friday, September 28, 2007
And doing needlework. Which uses up my evening typing fingers.
You can really tell I've become a lady of leisure (sickness as above excepted): first I went into a toy shop and came out with a needlepoint kit and nothing for H or K, and I've had an odd moment sitting in a cafe sipping hot chocolate and doing it.
The kit is The Incredible Woman designed by Jennifer Pudney. This is a wee picture of what it would look like if I did it according to the instructions:
But I'm planning to add another baby, and make the cat and woman look more like Andy and me. I'm not sure whether to have two babies and a wee man or take the wee man out. I don't feel that D is one of my burdens which makes me think I could take him out but he is important and Andy isn't a burden either...
Let me know what you think.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
A week or two ago D overheard H lecturing K: "Remember if you're drawing Daddy don't give him any hair."
Then on Father's Day K bounced up to D with a picture and said "Here you go Daddy, here's a picture of you, but I can't draw boys so I drew you wearing a dress."
At which H piped up "I like drawing fairies."
I think D is beginning to develop a complex.
Friday, September 21, 2007
1. You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451. Which book do you want to be?
One that is loved enough to be memorised. (I haven't actually read Fahrenheit 451 but...)
2. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Often while reading and in the afterglow of a good book.
3. The last book you bought is:
I bought The Tiger Who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr for a third birthday present and before that My Heart Goes Swimming: New Zealand Love Poems, and Dear To Me: 100 New Zealanders Write About Their Favourite Poems which inspired my leaving work poetry appeal.
4. The last book you finished is:
Ten in the Bed by Penny Dale (the board book version). I haven't been finishing adult books recently, just starting them. I think the last I finished was The Other Wind by Ursula Le Guin, the sixth in the Earthsea Series. Despite them being highly recommended to me for as long as my reading age has been up to it I only started the series this year, they lived up to my high expectations.
5. What are you currently reading?
D is reading The Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson aloud to me before we go to sleep. I love being read to and I feel very lucky every time it happens.
On my bedside table I have bookmarks in: Dear To Me, Life of Pi by Yann Martel, Small Holes In The Silence by Patricia Grace, The Rough Guide to Climate Change by Robert Henson, The Fountain of Tears by Stephanie de Montalk, Are Angels OK?: The Parallel Universes of New Zealand Writers and Scientists and The Halstead Treasury of Ancient Science Fiction. Fortunately most of these are short pieces or non-fiction which can cope well with a long break in the middle. Life of Pi is the exception.
I am also reading The Complete Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne to H and K, and the very beautiful Fairy Tales by Berlie Doherty and Jane Ray which is K's current favourite. It is wonderful reading Winnie-the-Pooh to people who have never met the jokes before and find them hilarious.
6. Five books you would take to a desert island.
Is this the kind of desert island where I need the book with the biggest covers I can think of for shade, the bulkiest book drenched in water to quench my thirst, the most nutritious book to eat, a book of matches to light a fire and a fishing book with a two free hooks?
Assuming the desert island has a luxurious resort which caters for all my other needs including entertainment for H & K, I'll take a bunch of books I haven't read but want to: the Life of Pi to finish, My Heart Goes Swimming for romance, Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson because I've heard it's good and I'm interested in the politics of terraforming, Captain Nemo by K.J. Anderson which D wants to return, and Of course I love you... NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM! by Diane Levy which I have been meaning to read for ages.
And then I remember that one is generally assumed to be stranded for a very long time on fictional desert islands not just on holiday and, after putting aside worrying about either being separated from or having to educate H and K, I think maybe I should bring some more sustaining things: an encyclopaedia to feed my love of trivia, The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis because they will survive much re-reading, Dear To Me for some great poems, an omnibus edition of Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars Trilogy to keep the wolf from the door, and a guide to the local flora and fauna to answer my curiosity.
JK and i because they both love to read and sometimes do memes and I'll leave the last invite temptingly open to anyone who wants it.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Thanks! This is on livejournal here.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Once upon a time K had a buddy called Bear, who was a bear, and H had a buddy called Fimble, who was a fimble. Unbeknownst to them their devious parents had a secret stash which contained doppelgängers, Backup Bear, Fimble's Friend and Fimble's Other Friend. This deception was carefully maintained for fear that a rift in the space time continuum would occur if Bear and Backup Bear, or Fimble and Fimble's Friend were to simultaneously appear.
Of course it was inevitable that this would happen. One day when we had searched high and low for Fimble, given up in despair and substituted Fimble's Friend H found Fimble. Our nanny handled the situation with aplomb and H & K were absolutely delighted. Magic! Now K has a fimble too. To avoid confusion both fimbles are called Fimble and only K can pick which is whose.
K is feeling in need of additional security at the moment. One of the ways this manifests is that every night when she goes to sleep she needs a vast collection of objects. Her fimble and bear, pink baby, cookie monster, Shirley, Bear's dad, wee pink bear, my leaving work gorilla, the toy shopping basket, Pooh, some pictures of fairies I drew for her, and the list goes on. Most nights the collection grows and it all has to be arranged just so. I fear that one day it will undergo gravitational collapse, become a black hole and suck not just toys but all our material possessions in.
[This post was inspired by this post about transitional objects.]
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
+ good, comprehensive and reliable info
+ links to www.imdb.com (the movie database on the web)
= sessions by cinema
- I haven't found a way to print the information sensibly
+ sessions by film across all cinemas (a very nifty feature)
+ good information
+ prints OK and you can cut, paste and reformat it
- sometimes incomplete and not obvious when it is
- link changes name from time to time, if it doesn't work go to the feelinggreat site and search for movies
- only covers arty cinemas
= sessions by time
+ prints OK
There are a couple of sites which cover all of NZ which have all the information but do not present it on one page. www.flicks.co.nz is very glossy, www.nzcinema.co.nz has info for only some cinemas but I've included it because I like the design.
Actually tonight I'm going to the Northland Toy Library committee meeting but conceptually I might be going to the movies and if I was I'd be using these sites.
Friday, September 14, 2007
You just slip out the back, JackToday is my last day at work. Yesterday it finally hit me as I was throwing out half the stuff in my filing cabinet that this is it. 40 hours a week for 13 years comes to so little. I cried on my way home.
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
- Paul Simon 50 ways to leave your lover
Now it is 4am and I can't sleep. Today I have to pull together my last gasp attempt to finish what I said I would before I go, do something sensible with a few hundred emails, pass on my last words of wisdom and have a few drinks with my workmates (and probably more than a few more).
K asked me a while ago "Do your friends at work love you?" Today I hold them very dear.
Friday, September 07, 2007
- While sitting down, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
- Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
- Check which way your foot is circling.
- Try to do this without your foot changing direction.
This is a wee snatch of a song that I started inventing:
Beauty's in the eye of the beholder [intro...
There's a woman of size
with massive thunder thighs
And a woman so thin
who thinks eating's a sin
If you think that they're not beautiful [chorus...
you've got ugly eyes.
There's a man in lace
with a brithmark on his face
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh!' he whispered.
'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. I just wanted to be sure of you.'
Monday, September 03, 2007
It was all very dramatic but we managed to put the fire out without anything else catching and we even rescued the damp and slightly charred token from the pizza box. The only lasting impact is that one of the knobs on the stove is slightly melted.
It made me realise I cope better with emergencies when there are other people present I can boss around.
The most probable cause of the fire is that when D put the empty pizza box down on the stove top it was heavy enough to trigger the gas self-lighting mechanism and a spark caught but we haven't ruled out spontaneous combustion.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
1. Schoc - Lapsang Souchong - individual chocolates infused with smoked tea
2. Whitakers - Dark Orange block
3. dark chocolate covered crystallised ginger
4. de Spa Chocolatier - lime individual chocolates
5. the dark chocolate covered dried apricots you can buy individually from Kirks
6= Cadbury - Energy Chocolate block
6= Whitakers - Bittersweet Dark block
6= Cadbury - Old Gold block
9. chocolate covered hokey pokey
Friday, August 31, 2007
Subj: Ruth __'s Leaving Poetry Appeal
After 13 years I am leaving [this company] on 14 September. Instead of collecting money for a gift, I have been inspired by the Amnesty International book Dear To Me (which has 100 famous New Zealanders' favourite poems and the reasons they like them) to gather together your favourite poems, which I will turn into a single edition book. This will be a reminder not just of my time at [this company] but the people who make [this company] special.
To take part, please email me your favourite poem or a link to it, and a short note explaining why you like it or why it's significant to you. All donations will be gratefully accepted, even from those of you I don't know and have never had the pleasure of working with.
I enjoy good poetry and I am looking forward to the results but here I will confess that one of the reasons I did it is that I enjoy playing with engineers' minds.
Monday, August 27, 2007
The people were lovely and I was much better at it than I expected. (My expectations were very, very, very low.) I plan to go to practice for the next few weeks and see how it goes.
There is scope for bringing H & K and letting them run wild with their cousins.
One of the things that I realised after Ultimate, is that if I'm learning a new skill I think I am capable of, I direct the person teaching me towards what I think will help me most. I'll tell them when to skip ahead and when to repeat. When I have no confidence that I can learn the skill I don't help the person teach me - I assume that not only do they know what they are teaching but also the best way to get it into my brain. This assumption makes it more likely that I find it hard to learn.
On Saturday was one of the first times I have had enough confidence in my ability to learn a physical skill. I told the person helping me:
"Brain full. Do not give me any more instructions, just repeat the instructions you've already given me."
It really helped.
Finally for those who have asked - my hair colour is Affinage, Colour Dynamics, Green Envy (and check out the Dutch goth site I have a completely logical reason to link to).
Sunday, August 26, 2007
In my view one of the things that school PE should focus on is creating a love of active play. As an adult being good at sport makes very little difference to most people's lives. Enjoying it does. Enjoying it almost certainly makes people fitter and fitter people are healthier.
Focussing on enjoyment would help people in other areas too. Imagine if kids left school with 10% less achievement English and 10% more enjoyment of reading, or 10% less skill at maths but 10% more enjoyment of using the skills they have. Do you think they'd be worse off?
[The blitle is a Dr Seuss quote.]
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I think I will tell this story for a long time as one of our most romantic moments.
At the wedding I was dancing to some unfamiliar song with a friend who is maybe 10 years younger than me when he said "I suppose you remember this from when it came out?" I didn't but that was fine. Then he said "My dad was hippy, were you a hippy?" Suddenly I felt a hundred.
When I told this story to another friend who is maybe 10 years younger than me, he said "Well if you are 100 then you look really good for your age."
Sorry for the lack of posts lately - my laptop is sick and I'm suffering from work angst.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Topic: Survey - Breastfeeding in Public
The latest survey on the Intranet home page is:
Should breastfeeding be allowed in public?
And the answers at the time of writing are:
Yes, always 42.6%
Yes if done discretely 49.5%
Not in eating establishments 4.5%
No, never 3%
202 votes cast.
As a fairly recent breast feeder I would like to say - how do 100 good [company] people think it is possible to attach a wailing infant to one's bosom in public discreetly?
For those of you who have never breastfed I would like you to imagine the following scenario:
You are on call and so have to carry a cellphone with you everywhere you go. Unfortunately the cellphone has been glued to a large siamese cat. Fortunately the cat sleeps a lot. Unfortunately if the cellphone rings the only way to stop it is to press it (with cat attached) against a part of your anatomy usually covered by underwear for 10-30 minutes. In the unlikely event you can achieve this in a position in which the cat is sufficiently comfortable the cat will go back to sleep.
Hopefully this mental exercise will give you sympathy for indiscreet breast feeders and admiration for those who manage it discreetly.
Finally I had twins so those of you who are very brave can imagine that you are on call for two jobs with two cellphones stuck to two cats.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
- It is an strange personal joke about 'natural' hair colours.
- It will stop me applying for other jobs before I know what is happening at my work.
- It's one of my favourite colours and purple is too trad.
- I'm feeling rebellious.
- It will help me do some other things that are outside my comfort zone.
- I've been meaning to do it for years.
- My sister's hair hasn't been green.
- Our corporate colour wasn't radical enough.
- I thought it would make my complexion look less florid.
- It is a transition stage from white back to brown.
Friday, August 10, 2007
I am Ireland.
And in case you doubt the wisdom of the internet: baked, mashed, roast, hot chips, chippies,
Mystical and rain-soaked, you remain mysterious to many people, and this makes you intriguing. You also like a good night at the pub, though many are just as worried that you will blow up the pub as drink your beverage of choice. You're good with words, remarkably lucky, and know and enjoy at least fifteen ways of eating a potato. You really don't like snakes.
stuffed, croquettes, scalloped, in salad, hash browns, home fries, french fries, leek and potato soup, boiled, gnocchi.
I am Watership Down!
by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Me: Someone who doesn't answer their phone has stolen my ring tone.
Workmate: Are you sure it's not your phone and you've left it in the kitchen.
I look at my desk. I look for my folio which has my phone in it. I look sheepish. I get up and come back carrying my phone.
We both laugh a lot.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Yesterday I bundled H & K into the car in their pyjamas so we could meet D at the airport at 8am. They got heaps of smiles from the morning commuters, especially when they were jumping up and down and calling "Daddy, Daddy" at the arrivals gate.
I don't know if we got heaps of smiles at baggage claim. I was too busy trying to get H dressed again.
Monday, July 23, 2007
I read an article about some research where they got 30 men to guess emotions from photos of eyes before and after researchers sprayed oxytocin up their noses, 20 of them performed significantly better after.
Breastfeeding produces lots of oxytocin. Maybe this is where some of the maternal telepathy comes from.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
It is worse than that, one of the things that led me to set up this blog nearly a year ago was a desire to post this and see if I got other Andy Knackstedt fans commenting. In fact what I'd like someone else to set up an Andy Knackstedt fan site. I'm too embarrassed to do it myself. If there is one already please send me a link.
Now the question on some of your minds will be: who is Andy Knackstedt? He is spokesperson for Land Transport NZ and before that was spokesperson for the LTSA. He appears in the news saying sensible things like "carrying groceries or dead animals in your car does not make it a hearse" with deadpan humour and a twinkle in his eye.
The other question you have may be: why Andy Knackstedt? Well there is all those usual things - appears to be good looking, intelligent and have a sense of humour, and I don't have to deal with him as a real human being. (I'd show you a picture but google has failed me.) But why not a movie or pop star? Why spokesperson for a government department? Well, I don't know, but I think the fact he seems more like someone I'd have something in common with is appealing.
I've happily considered Andy Knackstedt to be thinking woman's crumpet for several years but occasionally reality intrudes. My problem is not that he disappoints but that he appears. You see, there may be six degrees of separation between a Maasai cattle herder and me, but it is all I can do to maintain two degrees of separation to Andy Knackstedt, any less and I feel I need to start thinking of him with a greater degree of circumspection.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Gingy came into our lives as a tiny ball of ginger fur and attitude. We'd been visiting the litter of kittens and their mum, chosen Gingy and planned to get him after we got back from our holidays in January. Then we got a call in late December - could we take our kitten early? He was beating up his mum. So he was an unexpectedly early Xmas present.
I grew up with him. I was 8 when he arrived. I rocked him as a kitten on the lazy boy and crooned Away in a Manger until he fell asleep. When I sing it to my daughters I always think of him. I cried my teenage angst into his fur and delighted in his exploits - skateboarding, chasing a dog, staring down buses and boyfriends. He loved me more than anyone and was the first male to share my bed.
I was the one who found him when he'd dragged himself with a dislocated pelvis down our long path to the house. I came home from school and found him shivering. I put him on my coat and went inside to ring a neighbour to help me. He dragged himself inside following me. Later he was determined to do everything as usual despite having one leg bound up to his body. Then for years afterwards he'd occasionally hop when he was feeling sorry for himself. The experience left him with a fear of vacuum cleaners although I presume he was hit by a car.
Eventually, like many old cats, his kidneys started to fail. For years he went to the vet every 6 weeks for an injection and took hormone pills. His fur became dreads and he spent his time in the sun. I moved out of home and got an affectionate welcome when I visited. You could still tell I was special to him.
His toilet training became erratic. He'd poo in the shower downstairs and pee on the floor sometimes. Fortunately it was lino. Then one day he peed at the edge of the lino in the living room and it soaked into the wood below.
My mother rang me and told me that they were going to have Gingy put down. I knew it would have been my father who had lost patience with him. I asked to talk to my father and my mother wouldn't let me. I cried and cried. I rang back and drew out all the stops. I pleaded for Gingy's life with all the emotional blackmail I could manage. It wasn't pretty. It worked.
A year or so later my parents were going away and they asked me to catsit. He had been going downhill. When I stayed I noticed he was only turning righthand corners and turning right every time the opportunity arose, like someone in a maze. He'd probably had a stroke. I woke one morning to what sounded like a cat fight. He was lying on the floor fitting and yowling. Eyes wide, claws out, fighting death. I rang the emergency vet. They said if he is still fitting in ten minutes ring back. I rang again. By now some of his joints were moving in ways they were never built to. They said bring him in. I put him in a large box (big enough for his battle to continue) and we drove to the vet.
The vet was wearing a heavy metal T-shirt and had an old ford parked at the back. He seemed a bit like Gingy, uncompromising and tough as nails but very kind.
The vet said it was a massive stroke. That he'd never recover. That if he was human they'd give him massive doses of muscle relaxants and then wait for him to die. The vet asked if I wanted him to have muscle relaxants before they put him to sleep so he would die calmly. I thought his battle was his way of going and told him no, just the final dose.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Two of my male workmates, G and S, have an ongoing thing where they rib each other about each other's homophobia, for example calling each other pottle (because of the non-work safe definition here).
Recently someone made the text on a website we all use maroon. S and G talked about it and S said he "thought it was a bit gay". So G posted a comment which says "S thinks the Maroon is a bit gay".
I wasn't impressed. I didn't think it was an appropriate remark for the context. So I emailed S and G a link to this site which advertises a cure for homophobia. They both thought it was funny, got the point and changed the comment.
It now says "Scott thinks the Maroon is really lovely and it makes him feel all calm inside."
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
- Black is a base to which other colours can be added but it doesn't count as a colour.
- Brown is a base to which other colours can be added but it doesn't count as a colour.
- You can't have two bases.
Ergo I can't wear black shoes with a brown skirt.
My fashion logic worked - at the bus stop I saw a friend who is about 10 years younger than me. She was also wearing a brown skirt and black boots.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Rats have lots of personality and occaisionally it is useful to have a pet that you put away when you're out.
The problems with rats are that they are a little bit smelly, they find it harder to communicate with humans than cats (they don't squeak to say "I'm thirsty and my water bottle isn't working" - a cat would meow and pester) and you have to deal with all their output.
One of the biggest adjustments between having cats and rats is that cats (especially Andy) are not very interested in most human food. Rats eat everything we do and many things we don't (like D's expensive speaker wire). Andy has never stolen a tea bag and hidden it under the sofa and he also doesn't clear up all the crumbs on the carpet.
Some day I intend to blog about my rats at length but today I'll just leave you with their epitaphs:
Tanith - best friend and rat
Trillian - her own rat
Monday, July 09, 2007
At the beginning of this year I was considering taking on a mission. The two options I was considering were a seriously low carbon diet or dramatically changing my buying patterns to reduce excess production and waste. So far I've done a bit of both, not a mission but a few sorties.
On the low carbon front I have:
- bought a good book
- bought a centameter
- made sure our car is tuned
- had our insulation assessed
- installed more energy efficient light bulbs
- stopped one of the ways that Andy gets under the house
- started investigating getting solar water heating.
I also intend to:
- sort out our central heating ducting and completely stop Andy getting under the house (he sits on the ducts making them less efficient)
- figure out our carbon footprint and then buy carbon credits to offset it.
On the buying front I spent a long time thinking about what rules I should set myself for my mission, things like "Nothing new except consumables, parts, services and presents". I didn't set any but instead I've started trying to think through "reduce, reuse, recycle" twice for every purchase.
First about the kind of object generally:
Reduce - Do I need one? Do I have something else I can use instead? Can I borrow one?
Reuse - Can I fix an old one? Can I buy one second hand?
Recycle - Can I get one made of recycled materials?
Then if I'm buying it about the item I'm buying
Reduce - Can I get one which will produce less waste or uses less resources overall?
Reuse - Can I get a reusable one? Can I get one which I can use for more things (reducing future buying)?
Recycle - Is it recyclable?
50% off costs the earth the same
So far the biggest impacts have been on my clothes and book shopping. I've got less new clothes and made more effort to get my sister's old ones, less new books and more second hand ones. Small beginnings.
[I've put back in the links which got lost due to an error somewhere between the chair and the keyboard.]
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
You am Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)
Honest and a defender of the innocent. You sometimes make mistakes in judgment but you are generally good and would protect your crew from harm.
|Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)||75%|
|Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)||65%|
|Wash (Ship Pilot)||65%|
|Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)||60%|
|Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)||55%|
|Inara Serra (Companion)||50%|
|Derrial Book (Shepherd)||35%|
|A Reaver (Cannibal)||30%|
|Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)||25%|
Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I used to have pet rats, Tanith and Trillian. Tanith was a small brown rat with white gloves. She was very friendly and affectionate. I taught her not to climb up my legs. She taught me to pick her up if she sat on my foot. Our training regimes dovetailed nicely and were equally effective.
I read something the other day that was saying that cats are different from other domestic animals in that they may have domesticated themselves. Looking for the source I found the story many places including this article from the NY Times, the origin was this paper in Science.
An animal psychologist once told me that dogs and people have much the same psychological problems, most of which are to do with socialising, but cats have very different ones most of which are to do with territory.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Andy is not an evil cat. Well, not to me, or at least not to me often. Well, maybe that's because I'm good at reading his mood and getting out of the way. He's the kind of cat that gets really into being stroked and rolls over to show his tummy but if you touch it you'll have sixteen claws embedded in your arm. He plays fast and dirty; he just watches when you wave a toy in front of him, watches with every nerve in his body then suddenly springs and bites the hand holding the toy.
I was worried about having two naive, trusting, soft, slow, wriggly, defenseless animals around him. Fortunately he found babies about as off putting as kittens and avoided them. As they got older K and him worked out a relationship quite fast: they are both prickly characters who like respect. H found it much harder. She loved Andy, he was soft, furry and beautiful. She wanted to hug him soooo much. Very occasionally he'd let her but then the next time she'd assume too much and he'd bat her away and she'd cry every time he went near her. No claws though and that is a pretty big deal.
Now H & K are older Andy has slowly grown to tolerate them. He mostly puts up with being inexpertly stroked, patted and having toys ride him. When it is too much he just makes himself scarce. I am very grateful for his forbearance.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Someone forgot to tell Pluto he wasn't invited.
[I'd love to acknowledge the source of these but I got them zillionth hand in a tacky email from a workmate.]
Betelgeuse is Orion's red toe:
hubble via a boojum].
Those of you who are under the misapprehension that it is summer will also think that Betelgeuse is Orion's head.
I also keep sniffing my hands. I swear I can still smell the stink of the drain on them. I empathise with Lady Macbeth.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
They were in good form. They very cutely answered all my workmates' questions in twinly stereo, and apparently, when they got to D's work, H stood in the foyer and called "D___ C____!" while they were waiting for him.
The title of this post comes from the song "The Quartermaster's store" which is sung by soldiers and children with different lyrics. For the curious here are a bunch of marching songs with unexpurgated lyrics (you have been warned).
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
K likes to wear "suits" with matching tops and bottoms. She has recently grown out of her stripy pink suit with butterflies on the top and so I went looking for a replacement.
I got sucked in and bought H & K each a suit and a long sleeve T-shirt at a name brand kids clothing store. The suits were from the girls range and the tops are size 5. The long sleeve T's were from the boys range (because they had better colours). They are the same shape, the same length in the arms and body. The only difference is they are cut slightly wider in the body. They are size 3.
So are 3 year-old boys the size of 5 year-old girls?
From the New Zealand growth centiles the average 3 year-old boy is 96cm tall and weighs just under 15kg. The average 5 year-old girl is 108cm and just over 18kg. So there is 12cm (more than 10%) difference in height and over 3kg (more than 15%) difference in weight.
What about the difference between 5 year-old girls and 5 year-old boys? The average NZ 5 year-old boy is 108cm and just under 18.5kg. So there is no difference at all in height and less than .5kg in weight.
So why are their clothes so different in size?
I think it is because it creates an appearance of more gender difference than their really is at that age. Boys in baggy clothes look bigger, with the implication of more muscular and masculine. Girls in tighter clothes look sleeker and closer to the current slender feminine ideal.
Little kids do a lot of developing their gender identities. I have no problem with that. If K wants to wear a purple fairy dress, own pink shoes and ask me lots of questions about which pictures are boys and which are girls that is fine. What I have a problem with is when gender difference is pushed on children. When it is impossible to buy neutral clothes for children that are androgynous in size and shape. When all the toys are divided by gender.
About now I lose the rational argument and start raving and gnashing my teeth.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Then on Friday H asked if she could use the toilet at night (rather than the potty in her room) and I agreed. K didn't. K was very upset at the idea that H might leave her alone in their room. H worked out a compromise - when she wants to go to the toilet K has to come too. So up to three times each evening, and once in the very early morning, two little girls patter off to the toilet together.
I'm hoping that before too long our very cold bathroom will reduce the number of unnecessary trips.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
for Wellington Women's Refuge. (The explanation is here and here.)
It is amazing what a whim can achieve.
In other good news the time limit for the nanny we fired to raise a personal grievance against us has now passed.
I'm thinking of going to The King and the Clown tonight to celebrate.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
What I've learnt so far:
- choose your gorilla mask carefully
- children are much friendlier to strange gorillas than strange people
- adults like to know whose inside and are generous to gorillas
- people are more surprised by a gorilla when the lift doors open than a gorilla appearing beside their desk
- wise gorillas carry safety pins.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Hat Day in absentia - for Wellington Women's Refuge
On Thursday and Friday I am out of the office on a training course and I would still like to participate in the Hat Day but with a twist - I am offering to wear a hat to my course for a good cause - Women's Refuge.
If the total sponsorship pledges I have received by email by 5pm Thursday 24 May are:
- pathetic (i.e. <$5) I will wear a slightly silly hat for 1 hour during the course
- supportive (i.e. $5 to $40) I will wear a slightly silly hat for the duration of the course on Friday
- very supportive (i.e. $40.01 to $150) I will wear a fairly silly hat for the duration of the course on Friday
- amazingly generous (i.e. >$150) I will wear a pretty ridiculous hat for the duration of the course on Friday
I'm feeling smug with this solution to my dilemma.
And if you, my lovely reader, want to sponsor this silliness for a worthy cause you may, the deadline is Thursday 5pm NZST. You can make your sponsorship donation by credit card at the NZ Women's Refuge site online and just email me the amount.
Monday, May 21, 2007
H_ and K_ are now on our list to start school next year. I will send you an information book and [the new entrant teacher] will contact you later in the year to arrange school visits. There will be 3 visits at different times in the day. If you wish to make an appointment with [the principal] and have a look around the school please contact us to arrange a time.
I feel shocked: How did my babies get to be so old? How did I get to be this person? Why am I surprised? What will I put in their lunch boxes?
Friday, May 18, 2007
So if you're pregnant in Wellington and would like another support person let me know. I'm experienced, knowledgeable and caring.
- Support person for one home and one hospital birth.
- Laboured for many hours and gave birth to twins via caesarian (my birth story is here).
- Attended BirthWise antenatal classes (twice!)
- Read avidly about pregnancy and birth while pregnant.
- I believe that the role of a support person is to do whatever you choose in a respectful, steadfast and friendly way.
- Labour and birth are one of the most intimate, physical, mental and spiritual things that we can experience.
- Natural birth is the aim but a healthy mother and baby are far more important.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
- It is easy and we've never had to work at it.
- We never disagree.
- Humour is not important.
- It would be better if we didn't spend time with just the two of us. I regret having a regular babysitter once a week, it isn't worth the money.
- It's all about sex.
- I haven't read Love in the Real World by Rhonda Pritchard and I wouldn't recommend it.
- I've been an easy, undemanding, low-maintenance spouse with consistently realistic expectations. D has it easy.
- Talking to a therapist made me realise that it is all about making D change and that nagging and constant criticism help.
- Love at first sight, a public proposal, quick engagement and celibacy before marriage are the building blocks for a sound marriage like ours.
- We don't have a happy marriage.
- I am much more conscious of the bridge of my nose.
- I am developing a whole new set mannerisms (like taking them off and waving them at people while I talk).
- I keep being at meetings where everyone is wearing glasses.
- All my friends have got wrinklier.
Friday, May 11, 2007
I've just got my first ever glasses (for reading) so if I seem both more intelligent and less like a superhero you'll understand.
I looked up glasses on Wikipedia which led me down the following strange paths:
- meganekko: "females who wear glasses, especially when it is considered their most attractive trait"
- glasses fetishism
[Updated as the second bullet point got lost in virtual wilderness.]
Monday, May 07, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
On TV no one is ever unclear about whether they are in labour, they never wobble in and out of labour indecisively over days and days or have contractions every evening for a week. This isn't what makes me rant at the screen, it is the way they nearly always give birth on their backs which really pisses me off.
For sane information about birthing positions you can check this out. If anyone wants to hear an irrational rant about it just let me know.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
- dust mites
- little spiders underneath
- feathers in the duvet
- a flea (or at least there was one a few nights ago before I treated Andy)
- wool in my pillow
- maybe borer
- book mites
- eyebrow mites and all the other tiny parasites Andy and I carry with us
- scales from moths' wings
- hairs and dead skin from everyone who has slept here
- tiny parts of insects
- countless bacteria in and on everything
Friday, April 27, 2007
At the end of year physics exam in I had arrived in good time and was laying out my pens etc when JB rushed in (with, as is happens, one arm in plaster). He started a conversation with one of the little old ladies who supervise university exams here. He appeared disorganised and distraught. She turned to the assembled multitude and said "Does anyone have a spare calculator?" I offered mine.
This is why it made complete sense to me to get up, go to the front of the exam room and remove from my bag a calculator and an object that looked like an automatic weapon.
You should have seen the look on her face.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Our heroine receives the Energy Library monthly update. Which contains the following:
Bizarre building materials
Researchers at Michigan State University have proposed that cow manure be used to replace sawdust in the manufacture of fibreboard.
A German architect has filed a patent application for a new type of cement made of dog droppings. The best breed for this has got to be the setter.
In Australia one man is building an energy-saving house from used wine bottles.
To be in the draw to win a king-size bar of energy chocolate email ... any unusual building material you’ve heard about by 4pm Friday 6th April.
For the competition mammoth bones are my building material of choice although availability these days is bit of a problem.
Our heroine receives an email announcing her victory. She is delighted.
We see an inter-office envelope with a block of chocolate shaped bulge deliver to her empty desk.
We watch her franctic typing and the envelope becoming buried, unnoticed under floods of papers.
We watch her work late into the evening, pausing only to stalk the floor ravenously, desperate for sustenance. The scene repeats itself a second night but this time her pathetic moans lure a colleague to share his last muesli bar.
The next day later she finds the envelope. She shares most of the bar with her workmates, perhaps it is the guilt that make her do this? The act ends as she puts the last four squares into her desk drawer.
A week later. She works through lunch, sustained only by a tiny roll. She takes out the packet, wolfs down the chocolate and peers disappointed into the empty packet, a substantial amount of chocolate crumbs remain. She lifts the packet in triumph, tilts it toward her open mouth and ...
... the crumbs pour into the crevasses of her keyboard.
The lights slowly fade out on the final scene - our heroine staring in despair, past the pile of mixed chocolate crumbs and crud of the ages she has shaken onto her desk, at the brown goodness still caught between the keys.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
The first time I remember was when I was 12. When I think of it I always have a very strong memory of the exact place - sitting on the toilet at my grandma's house. I can see the turquiose walls and light filtering through the frosted louvres. The curtains moving in the light breeze. Slightly cold but comfortable. The smells of lavender and disinfectant.
In that place, at that time, I decided that I wanted to be popular and have lots of friends. I wanted to be the kind of person that people wanted to be friends with.
When I was 18 at university I realised that I'd acheived that 12 year-olds goal. I was popular. I had lots of friends and I was one of the people who everyone wanted to know. (It helped that "everyone" was a bunch of 19 year-old male comp sci students and I had the winning combination of brains and breasts.)
The second time I want to tell you about happened years later, about 1998. I went to a friend's parents' house and met her father. He in his fifties and was pottering around wearing support stockings and had an oxygen tube up his nose. Despite that, in less than five minutes of trivial converstation he managed to come across as confident, sincere, sensible, warm and interested in me. He had presence. I decided - I want to be like that.
Later I found out he was a manager at a bank. It made sense - he seemed like a person it would be nice to work for. I also realised then that some of the things that I wanted to be were things that good managers are.
Sometimes these days I have that presence.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Andy took this opportunity to jump on my lap (expected) and rub his face against my tongue - ewww!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Last night I went to the cast and crew screening of my cousin's movie The Last Great Snail Chase. I'd read the script months ago, been a sounding board for character development, and lent a variety of oddments and minor assistances to the crew. Our chest of drawers plays an important role in one scene.
I have been living with the expectant parent of the movie for many months and it was amazing to see it out in the light. It isn't independent yet - there are still some special effects to finish - but that will be done soon and it will take its first steps at the film market at Cannes. I am vicariously proud.
It is a coming of age movie with elements of magical realism. It is about twenty-somethings and is set in Wellington against a light hearted backdrop in which the world might be ending. I fear it will be interpretted as a very politically radical movie as some of the leading characters are politically radical with all the enthusiasm, optimism and naivety of youth.
At first I was very aware of what I think of as the Shortland Street Problem where .every. actor makes everything they .say. significant. But pretty soon I was caught up in the story. Well actually, stories. The Last Great Snail Chase has many different interweaving stories and it does it really well - the stories feel like parts of an organic whole. I think it manages multiple storylines better than any other movie I've seen and I don't think that is only my genetic bias talking.
I loved its quirky humour. I loved the way it flits off with minor characters. I loved the depth of detail in it and the feeling that if I watched it again I'd see more.
I hope that one day it will come to a cinema near you, and when it does - go!
Friday, April 13, 2007
As you are no doubt aware we're trying to finish the film and it is getting down to the wire.
The people in fx have just told us that their lives would be considerably easier - ie they might get the fx finished - if they had 6 more computers with a minimum of 1 gig of ram.
They would want to borrow these for the next four days...
Anyone got a (some?) lendable computers with 1 gig of ram they can lend us.
So my wee laptop (which is like this) is off to help.
Gandhi said "A life of sacrifice is the pinnacle of art, and is full of true joy." So having sacrificed blogging over the weekend for art I am waiting for the joy.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
- My sister, who used to live in the States, points out that Borders isn't a great bookshop, what it is a cafe which also sells books and that makes it a damn good cafe. The only other cafe which sells books (and music) in Wellington is Parsons. I don't like the cafe at Parsons and I've only ever found the rest useful for buying classical music and birthday presents for my aunt, neither of which I do frequently.
- Borders is close to my work.
- The authors I am reading most at the moment are all accidentally Americans (Ursula Le Guin, Tony Hillerman and Orson Scott Card). Borders has American editions so their books are available there first before they have been published by people who can spell.
- The areas where Borders does best it is competing for my book buying dollar against Amazon not against my favourite bookshop, Arty Bees.
- Someone once told me that 10% of people buy 90% of books. So to keep Wellington properly supplied with bookshops I obviously need to support 100% of the bookshops.
* Madwimmin Books was a fictional independent local women's bookshop closed down due to competition from fictional bookshops including Bounders.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
K is interested in death. This leads to disturbing questions that I try to answer honestly.
K (pointing to roast chicken): Is this chicken dead?This interest is spreading to H.
K: When did it get dead?
H: I want you to be my mummy until you're dead.Their main overriding interest is still babies. Yesterday, for the first time, they put these interests together.
me: I will always be your mummy.
H (lying against the support for the swing): K, I'm a dead baby - can you come and wobble me.Fortunately they get diverted into a different game before I get asked the question I am dreading - 'Mum, do dead babies wobble?'
K (pushes H): You wobbled. Dead babies don't wobble.
Monday, April 09, 2007
The great thing about her is that she leaves H & K them calmer and happier. She transmits joyfulness.
Dry at night, dry at night,H & K are both in pull-ups at night. H is dry most nights. K is dry occaisionally including two nights in a row this week.
All is calm, all is white,
Round yon virgins, child and child,
Roly-poly infants so tender and mild,
Sleep in urine-free peace,
Sleep in urine-free peace.
This has led not only to the bastardised carol above but also a line in improvised cheers. I haven't yet brought out the pompoms but I'm sure it is only a matter of time.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
I have never hit my children. I hope and intend I never will.
As an adult I have deliberately hit people, hard, twice that I recall. Once it was the bride's cousin at a wedding when he was trying to slow dance with me and I was trying to dance with a group and he wouldn't take 'go away' for an answer. The other time it was my recently ex-boyfriend when he looked too smug. In both cases I'd had a few drinks. In both cases if I'd thought before I acted I would have done something different. In both cases I could, theoretically, have been changed with assault but in the circumstances the police wouldn't have cared enough to do so. If I ever hit my children, even if the 'anti-smacking' bill has passed I am confident I will not be charged with assault whatever the law. So really it does not effect me.
It does effect our society. In ways I care about. It gives children the same protection from their parents which they currently have from other adults. This seems obviously sensible to me. I don't really understand why it doesn't seem sensible to everyone.
I can easily understand why many parents are driven by their children to the point of hitting them. What I can't understand is the parents who think it is or was a good idea rather than an unfortunate mistake. Most of the time when I send H or K into time out it is for hitting the other one. The message I am trying to teach is 'we don't hit people'. How would hitting them help?
I can think of one example of physical punishment which I consider sensible in the circumstances. The brother of someone I know was planning to join a gang, his mother gave him a black eye, she knew that the gang wouldn't accept as tough enough someone who got beaten up by his mother. Perhaps it is telling that in this story what the beating taught was the lesson that beating another person teaches most clearly - I am more physically powerful than you. This was a rare occaision when that message was actually worth emphasising.
[For more blogging about this check out from the morgue].
Monday, April 02, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Modern, Cool Nerd
73 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 39% Dork
According to the test:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis(needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!
The test tracked 3 variables which compare me to other people my age and gender:
I scored higher than 99% on nerdiness
I scored higher than 99% on geekosity
I scored higher than 99% on dork points
Now I know that some of you who read this are similar in age, gender and some or all of nerdosity, geekiness and dork points - you need to take this test to help make their data set more representative.