Saturday, February 24, 2007

An even number of heads

One of my new friends has just found out she is expecting twins. She is paper pregnant (adopting). I am really happy for her and also kind of scared. Thinking about trying to explain why I came up with this:

Twins are hard. Harder than 2 x 1. As babies it is more like logarithmically more difficult. Or to explain another way - babies need you 110% of the time, you can only be there for anyone (however small and needy) 80% of the time and the other 30% is unmet need. This 30% unmet need is why babies cry so much. You can only be there for each twin 45% of the time which leaves 65% unmet need each. Living with two people who are completely dependent on you who have 65% unmet need each can be a very draining experience.

I found 1 + 1 = 4 for the first few weeks, 1 + 1 = 2 at about 18 months, 1 + 1 < 2 at about 3.

It is harder for women who set themselves high expectations, like things to go the way they planned and are used to being in control. I'm that kind of woman. It was very hard for me.

Twins are wonderful.

I don't regret having twins.

It is also the hardest thing I've ever done.

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